olivia
Kellie Maloney was always an empathetic woman. She’s not becoming a woman, or even making herself appear to be. She does not “think” she is a woman. She doesn’t magically transform into a woman by some alchemical method.
She has always felt a different way inside however she was unable to explain the feeling to anyone. Even herself. Who is to be blamed for her? What did she need to do to realize that it was possible to become a woman if no other person believed in her?
In the past the gender equation has – over many centuries in the West was pretty stable. The same was the case with sexuality. You could be male or female and you could be either homosexual as well as “an invert”. These were the options you had.
We’ve made a lot of progress in the last few years, however you’d be amazed at how ignorant the most people seem to be when they discuss someone who’s just made the transition.
I’ve had several producers, researchers, and journalists contacting me over the past few days asking me what I think of Frank Maloney’s and “his” decision to “live as a woman”. The majority of news outlets has fallen into the trap of presenting Kellie as a male.
I understand. It’s kind of. Most people are familiar with Kellie as Frank and it can take some time to get used to. However, this isn’t about your old pals in this case, are we? We’re talking about those working in the media, and who should be aware. If you describe Kellie Maloney by using male pronouns I’m telling you something about you and the way you see individuals who switch their gender.
There’s a misconception that “men” just wake up one day and “decide” to become women. There’s no way to do that honestly. It’s really odd when people begin questions with “When you were a man” or inquire about how I felt when “was a bloke”. In the beginning, I was transitioning during the teen years, which means we’re not talking about bloke territory. But truthfully, I’m not able to say what it was to be like when “was a man” as I’ve never been one within.
I’ll tell you what it was like before I was able express myself in a manner that made me feel happy.
I’m able to tell you how it felt being depressed and embarrassed of who I actually was. And I’m able to tell you how it felt being me, the person I’ve always been, but forced to wear boys clothing and addressed by masculine pronouns. It was awful, in a word. It’s because I wasn’t an adult.
Being trans is about what you are as a person and not about the operations you’ve done and the way “good” you look “for a woman”. Kellie doesn’t “living as” a woman. She’s an adult woman today. She’s not “becoming a woman”. She’s changing. For the first year of her existence, she was not “a man”. She was transgender, in a state of confusion and fear to share her story with the world.
It’s true that she was tempted to commit suicide because she was so depressed. It’s not a comedy. It’s a deep conviction that is beyond explanation. It’s just exactly what it says. Certain people are transgender, or transgender and Kellie has one. I recall the first time someone I knew said they were planning to change. I was walking along the street and my friend Selina called me.
“You know how we dress up sometimes?” she told me.
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“Well I’m not dress-up for me. I’m gonna go to the end of the road, sweetheart.”
She didn’t need to inform me that in the future I would refer to her by her. She was just a person in my mind.
Perhaps it’s unjust of me to expect those who aren’t trans to grasp the same way that I was able to – considering that I’m trans however I do believe that the media as a whole could put in a tiny small effort. Be respectful. Kellie an amount of respect. You can refer to her simply by the name of “she”. I’ve done that for you in the article. It’s not difficult. She’s spent enough time laughing at others and accepting the phrase “he” to describe her and now she can enjoy her she-ness. She’s always been an individual woman. We just didn’t know about it before.
